I Am Not A Good Apologizer

I am not a good apologizer.  I tend to deflect responsibility for my actions, not so much to blame someone else but just to keep the heat off of me.  I avoid saying I’m sorry or admitting wrongdoing because I don’t want to admit I did something I shouldn’t have – or that I did something that hurt someone; I don’t want to have failed in this way.

However, in my growth as a manager, I have learned the importance of “circling back”, to proactively retrace my steps and check in with someone I may have inadvertently hurt.  In doing so, I don’t necessarily have to say I’m sorry, but simply drawing attention to my concern for their feelings strengthens our relationship.  By increasing their trust in me, they are more likely to be loyal to me and put in the effort we need to be successful.

Being vulnerable in this way is good for me and my company – in addition to being the right thing to do from a moral standpoint.

Here is a basic reminder of what an actual apology looks/sounds like:

I’m sorry for…
This is wrong because…
In the future, I will…
Will you forgive me?

If that’s too much for you, consider what you can do to show you care about the other person and their feelings.  How can you let them know you didn’t intend any ill will or harm?

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