Making Hard Conversations Easier
This post is the second in a series that shares a summary of a podcast from a company called Essential Communications, along with my notes that dig into each point a little deeper. If you like what my post has to say, you may want to check out their website and see what else they have to offer you.
http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/your-teams-best-interests-part-one
When employees believe their manager has their best interest at heart, they are more satisfied and more productive than those who don’t believe that. Treat your people well, and you will be rewarded!
How to show your employees you have their best interests in mind:
2. Deliver lots of feedback—both praise and developmental.
It’s said that the younger generations need a lot of feedback, more than any other generation of worker so far. I’m not sure that’s true: We all need feedback. How else do we know if we’re doing something right? How else can we improve and get better? Perhaps these up-and-comers are just more vocal about their need.
As a manager (supervisor, boss, leader, etc.), one of your key roles is to give good feedback. And I don’t mean just accolades and praise when I say “good”… I mean useful. Feedback isn’t about how you make someone feel (though that can play an integral role in how willing they are to accept your input). It’s really about the content – as well as your intent. What are you hoping your employee will take away from their conversation with you?
You already know there are two types of useful feedback: positive and negative. They may have different names (praise, recognition, appreciation; coaching, reviews, etc.), but it doesn’t really matter what you call them. People know when they are getting one or the other.
What you may not know is that positive feedback needs to be given three times as often as negative feedback. Personally, I believe you can’t praise people too much – as long as it’s authentic. No, you don’t have to pat your workers on the back every time they do their job, but it will give you a lot of street cred to notice (and verbally appreciate) when they go above and beyond their typical duties or when they do a really solid job consistently over a period of time. If you don’t tell your people what you like, how do they know they should do that again?
I love to give feedback informally. It doesn’t have to take a long time or even require any planning and preparation or scheduling. My favorite way of giving feedback is what I call a Check-In. I do these Check-Ins during my Management by Walking Around times. From afar, I observe my employee. I see how they are doing their job, how they are interacting with others. If you have a more technology or office-oriented environment, you can still do check-ins – in person as well as via message and work reviews. I listen to my people, and then – only after I’ve taken in what’s going on – I can ask questions (including, “How are things going?”) or can give feedback. If I have positive feedback, I might share what I observed and then tell them how much I liked what I saw/heard. Or, if I have limited time, I might just give a smile and wave or a thumbs up.
In addition to providing timely feedback, these Check-Ins allow me the opportunity to bond with my employee. I might ask questions about something I know they are working on. This lets me show I care (which makes them more invested in my success). It also makes me accessible and gives them the opportunity to ask questions of me, to gain clarity on an assignment or task, or to let me know of a challenge or barrier they are running into. Lastly, these Check-Ins, especially the observing part, give me some credibility when it comes to giving negative feedback. They will know that I’ve seen them in action and am taking their work in context.
Giving negative feedback is one of the hardest things a supervisor or manager has to do. None of us wants to make another person feel bad! So, here are the secrets to giving useful negative feedback (also known as coaching!):
Preemptively, build a good relationship with your employee.
Years ago, a consultant to my business taught me about “Money in the Pocket” – how employees can’t hear our criticisms unless we’ve built positive relationships with them. They have to know that we see the good they do and the good in who they are before they can hear our constructive feedback and suggestions. We have to put emotional “money” – in the form of appreciation, praise, and recognition – into their “pocket” before we can withdraw on that capital to ask them to make changes. So, having a solid and positive relationship with each employee is the first step. (You do this by getting to know them and by supporting them in doing their job well – giving positive feedback, making sure they have the resources they need, and standing up for them.)
Have specific observations to share – and don’t wait on it.
You can get these observations from that Management by Walking Around that I mentioned early. Try to observe your people in action every day. (Make the time. It’s that important and will save you time and energy – and frustration – in the long run.) You can also get these specific things to share from samples of their work portfolio or survey answers from customers/clients or coworkers.
Information should be shared as soon as reasonably possible so your employee finds it relevant. If you want too long, they may not be able to recall the situation in detail, and it will increase the challenge for them in making changes for the better. (Keep in mind that negative feedback should be shared privately. If you can’t do so immediately, set up a time to do it as soon as you both are available away from others.)
· Share your observations – specifically and concretely. Describe exactly what was seen or heard (or read or shared).
· Explain why that action is a problem. How does it negatively affect a customer’s experience or the team’s performance? What value or expectation or rule of the company does it violate? Give an idea of how big a deal this discussion is. (It might be a really big deal or it might just be sharing information so they can do the job better next time. Don’t make it more serious than it needs to be. And try to couch your feedback in terms of growth and improvement. We ALL have room to grow.)
· Remember this is a conversation, not a lecture. You are not all-knowing and all-powerful. You make mistakes too. And perhaps you’re even misunderstanding the situation. You and your employee have a relationship. You trust them to want to do a good job. So, give them some space to provide their perspective or their version of what happened.
Make sure they know what to do next time.
After you have a mutual understanding of the situation, make plans together for what should happen in the future. It is best if these ideas are employee-led, but they may need some guidance and suggestions from you. Consider options like additional training in a certain skill, the chance to shadow someone who is really good at XYZ, the opportunity to have their work reviewed by someone else before it is submitted, and so on.
Then, make a note on your calendar to circle back around and make sure the remedial action is being taken – and is proving useful (as observed by you or through communication with your employee or others impacted). If it’s not working, try something else.
Providing negative feedback is never fun but always better than not giving it — as long as we do so with the right intentions (to help our employee learn and grow). Remember, your employees can’t succeed without you.
Essential Communications has an archive with more than a dozen Executive Coaching Tips specifically designed to strengthen feedback skills. These resources are free, and you can read the Tips online, download them as PDFs or listen to them as podcasts.!
http://www.essentialcomm.com /tips/execcoachtips-feedback.html
I read a lot of articles and attend many webinars and conferences on how to create organizational cultures that motivate employees. I love sharing the nuggets I take from those with you.
This month’s posts share a summary of a podcast from a company called Essential Communications, along with my notes that dig into each point a little deeper. If you like what my post has to say, you may want to check out their website and see what else they have to offer you.
http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/your-teams-best-interests-part-one
1. Be sure your employees understand their job.
2. Deliver lots of feedback—both praise and developmental.
3. Create opportunities for new responsibilities.
4. Allow employees to have high visibility.
5. Position people for promotion.
6. Provide professional development
7. Offer career development
8. Be the resource they need. Share the view from your vantage point
9. Be fair
10. Tell your team how to succeed with you