Having It All Kinda Sucks
“Doing all of it at the same time was never the idea. By that definition, single working moms have been "having it all" for ages and yet society does not hold the single working mom up as the goal for women everywhere. No, no, that's just what happens when you're poor and have no choice. Except actually, that's what happens to all but the very very rich when you encourage women to work and have children but don't change any other part of the world they live in….”
“Here's what we tell women today: You not only can, but should have a career and children -- because if you don't, you're basically a) lazy, b) weak, c) not a real woman. But also, you should do it without any support. Without government-paid maternity leave (what are you, a socialist?). Without too much childcare (because then you're a shitty mom) or falling behind on the job (because then you're a shitty employee -- typical woman!). Without too much help from your husband (because then he's a pussy)….”
“For the record (tune in here, men's rights advocates), this is not a rant against men, it's a call for society in general to do better. I have routinely had women pass me over for work because I'm pregnant, or complain that I can't make an evening meeting because I have kids.”
“And we need to provide … support for all women, irrespective of color or income level. The VP at a tech company is no more entitled to maternity leave, job security, and adequate childcare than the waitress at a restaurant. It's the price of not just allowing, but requiring, mothers to work. Which is what we do today. Working is not a luxury or a choice for the vast majority of mothers and we need to stop acting like it is.”
Is your work environment and culture conducive to parents? How much overtime do you expect of your employees? How much “crunch time” do you have for projects? How much travel is expected or required? Are you flexible about these needs, and do you have conversations with your employees about their choices in these aspects of their job, or are they mandatory and not up for discussion?
What kind of culture and policies do you wish you could have? What’s stopping you?